paisley is crying. i am not sure how much longer i can last-she is feed, dry, and dead tired, she hasn't slept since something like 6pm and it is now midnight. she hasn't cried this whole time, actually she was quite happy for awhile, but i just know that she is exhausted and she won't stay asleep. my first question is about baby wise, i have started to read it, i haven't finished yet and it seems like a good idea but i don't see how i can stay on a routine. also, i have read/heard some negative things about letting your baby cry and the baby wise technique.(being physcologically damaging etc...) what has worked for you?? i want paisley to be happy and do what is best for her in the long run-i already do the eat, be awake and then sleep pattern pretty much with her. what is hard is if we ever leave the house, i try and do it right after she feeds, but then she never falls asleep and it just seems like i am screwing up her schedule. but we have to be able to leave the house.
second question, she is almost 7 weeks old which means immunizations are coming up. i think that i want to space them out or something because i do feel like they get too many at once. i am not sure which ones to do first/or at all. i am sure most moms feel this way, i just want to do whatever is best for my baby-i want her to feel loved and be healthy and happy. any advice/experiences would be appreciated!
11 comments:
Hey Dev I have a comment about the shots...When you get them, and if/when they give her a DTP shot...INSIST that they give her only the D and P. The T is just a preservative that is not needed. They only use it so that they can keep the bottle on the shelf longer. I know you have heard about these links to Autism, and I have heard that this may be one of them. I plan on making that request now when I take Tiki to get his shots. Do some research on it though. I hope that everything gets better for you, and that you might get some sleep someday. I know how it feels to be sleep deprived and worried about your child.
Well Deveney, the truth is no matter what any of us tell you worked for us and our children you really know more about your baby and her needs better than anyone else ever will. Although parenting newborns (especially for the first time) can be frustrating, I'm sure you're doing a much better job than you even realize.
BUT here's my two cents anyway.
My pediatrician back in Utah gave me guidance that has really helped with two babies sleeping schedules. He told me right away to just throw the first two months out the window because they will likely be chaotic no matter what you do. This was true with Connor but James has been a peach.
Anyway, when Connor was nearly two months old our Pediatrician suggested doing a solid bedtime routine...pick a time you can stick to, bath the baby if you want, feed them, and them lie them down in their bed to sleep and leave the room (crib soothers worked wonders for me when it came to doing this...I'd turn it on before leaving). If baby starts crying look at the clock and give them 15 minutes before responding. Then, go in and check all of their needs (diaper, feeding, etc.) and then put them in bed again. Repeat until asleep. This was tough with Connor at first but worked rather quickly. Also, in the night-times we were encouraged to not pick him up everytime he fussed, but rather only when he really started crying. Again, tough, but worked. The trick is to be 100% consistent.
So, I say do what you want...you know what's best, but using this technique I have ended up with two little babies who were sleeping through the night at about two months.
Good luck!
I'm excited you're reading Babywise. I started applying their techniques at 2 weeks of age but they say you can really start whenever. It is hard, when you start out, to hear them cry, but in the long run it is SO worth it. Ava usually just goes to sleep on her own. I don't need to rock her or anything like that. And of course it was hard at first. Like Anna said, they say that after 15 minutes of crying, to go in and check their needs and try it again. It's hard at the beginning but it has made my life and Tommy's life so much easier. And Ava isn't dependent on us to get her to sleep. But I know that a lot of people don't like the Babywise style, which is fine. Everyone has their own way that fits them. And about the immunizations, definitely research it out. I personally think that it's important for children to get all of the immunizations. You can ask your Dr. about spreading them out. I did with Ava. But make sure you know if your insurance covers the extra apts. If not, you might be paying extra. But I'm sure you'll figure it out. Looks like you guys are doing great! Call me if you have any questions. See ya!
The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Saved me. I don't feel right about letting a brand new baby cry for hours. As far as shots go...do for your baby what you would want your mom to do for you. I would want my mom to do an alternative shot schedule. Study them and pick the one that you feel best about and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I have a shot schedule I go by but I keep it to myself because people will really tell you what they think about it.
Deveney.
I like Anna's advice the best. You will know what is right for you and the baby. Some people can do things. Other can not and that is okay. I LOVED rocking my babies. Now that they are grown and gone, I miss that. I love the grandkids coming so I can do it. Jackie needed it even when in highschool, to be able to sit in a parent's lap every so often. I agree that it takes at least 2 months for them to figure things out. I always liked the nighttime routine. Try to consolidate errands so that you only have some days where the schedule is screwed up. You have to leave and the baby needs to learn to be adapable. You will figure it out, be patient and trust your instincts!!
I'll send you an email with my opinions......
geez, I love how my Mom made me sound like a baby...Every baby is different and every mom is different too. With Keegan, I nursed/rocked him to sleep for most of the time. As he got older, and was done with a middle of the night nursing, I would soothe him a little and then let him cry, and if he wasn't sick, he slept through the night great. But he was fairly sick with ear infections for his first year, so letting him cry it out was just awful to a sick little baby, plus I couldn't handle it very well. Kayden on the other hand, has been super healthy and doesn't like to be rocked to sleep. For me, I can't handle the full-on cry it out method, but I do let them cry it out to an extent. I don't know about shots, do whatever you feel right about. I was glad to get it over with at once, rather than dragging out the grouchy/not-feeling-well baby. I'm so sorry things are frustrating, but its definitely true that the first 6-8 weeks are the toughest!! Try to do as many errands in one go as you can, it's easier to have just one morning/day that is mixed up than every single day. Good luck, we love you!
I'm sorry things are tough. I have been really frustrated lately too. Graham cried off and on for 5 hours yesterday!!! I kept trying to put him to sleep and he wasn't having any of it. I was pretty fed up by the end of yesterday. Now that I've said that, I don't know if my advice will be worth anything, but I am reading "healthy sleep habits, happy child" and I really believe everything it is saying. It is a pretty great book. I am waiting until Graham is 2 months to really start applying the book. I'll let you know how it goes.
I hear ya lady! I have been thinking baout the let cry thing too. I am just not sure at what age it is good to start. I have been reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" They seem to say that if the baby is a typical baby in regards to crying that you can start to let cry at 6-8 weeks old. I just cant decide if my baby is "typical" - sure does not seem that way sometimes! If they are a very fussy/coliky baby they suggest not starting it until 16 weeks of age!Funny how all mom's feel the same way! Do not worry you are NOT alone!!! I dont know about you but it gives me some comfort to know that I am not the only mom who is confused. I will pray for you if you pray for me! Haha! =)
OH Deveny...
Frankie, my blessed child, will be ONE in two weeks and we still haven't figured out how to get him to sleep through the night! I have read SEVERAL books on sleep - Babywise, The Baby Whisperer, Happiest Baby on the Block and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. The last seemed to make the most sense for me and our family, but they all have great advice. I think the biggest lesson I have learned is that we pretty much have to submit. Submitting and enjoying our babies makes it all work out so much easier. I tried and tried to figure it out, and in so doing, I became so angry and frustrated with Frankie. It isn't his fault, he too, just like Paisley, is just trying to figure it out. Having said that, in the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child he reminds us that as parents, when we hear our baby crying, we have to continue to tell ourselves that we are teaching them to sleep and this is the biggest favor we can do for them. It is healthy and makes happier children. Again, I agree with his concept, but it is so hard when they are crying in the middle of the night and you are soooooooooooooooooooo tired! So really, no advice, but I completely understand. And truly, the first 4+ months for me, there was really no schedule or rhyme or reason - it just was. Again, submit and enjoy.
I don't know what to tell you about shots. Frankie has had them all and he is just fine and dandy. My doctor has made me feel quite calm about it all. She has two little guys of her own that she has immunized and ultimately, everything is a gamble...
Good luck! You will get through this.
TRUST ME I SYMPATHIZE.. It is so hard, I don't know if you remember what I told you, but here it is again. Babies don't really work on a "schedule" usually. But, I think Audrey had to be taught how to sleep. Do the same thing every single time. Whatever you think has worked best so far, do that. Do soothing things. And then do something special at "night". Just decide that you are going to dedicate 2-3 weeks to teaching her how to sleep. It is absolutely exhausting but it worked for me.
I love you hun and I know that saying it will get better in a couple weeks seems like a lifetime. Sometimes i didn't think I could make it to the end of the day. But I know how strong you are. You are an awesome mommy. I saw you. Just know that.
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