i have been delaying posting this, but it is life changing news, so i think i should share...a few weeks ago i had a blood test done. do you remember that nasty
rash i had? well, i went to several different medical doctors{a dermatologist even} and was still not 100% fixed, so i found a homeopathic/ak chiropractor to treat me. she has been wonderful and has been the only person who was able to 100% get rid of the symptoms, with out any steroids, unlike the other doctors. anywho, she saw some different things that she wanted tested for sure so she ordered a blood test.
i got the results from her at the end of that week and it turns out my insides aren't doing so well. there were several things wrong-but the major one was that i tested positive for an auto-immune disease called
hashimoto's. {basically my immune system is attacking my thyroid} hashimoto's disease usually causes hypothyroidism. this hit me pretty hard, it is difficult for me to except because i am a healthy person, i feel like i live a healthy lifestyle-i workout 3-6 times a week, i eat whole foods, i only drink water, i don't drink alcohol, i don't smoke, i am not on any prescription drugs, i sleep 7-9 hours a night, and i eat pretty darn healthy.{except for my sweet tooth} my chiropractor said that because of my healthy lifestyle i wasn't experiencing too many symptoms and could have gone un-diagnosed for a long time, which by then could have created more serious problems on the inside. so it is a blessing to find out so early, it is still just a bit shocking and hard to except when you think you are healthy and you are really sick.
so, the treatment of this in the medical world is a thyroid hormone replacement supplement, i am not super interested in this....but i do plan on making an appointment with a medical doctor to hear about all the different options available. there has been lots of research done linking hashimoto's disease and celiac disease{an allergy to gluten basically} so for now i am on a gluten free diet, which is really hard and really expensive. even if i make my own bread and stuff, the ingredients are easily double, if not triple the amount of money for regular four and stuff. store bought gluten free bread is crazy expensive, i paid over $5 for a 16 piece loaf of bread...and the slices are about 1/4 the size of a normal bread slice. so i am doing my best, reading labels and learning...what is frustrating for me is that i feel like i eat un-healthier gluten free then when i was allowed a normal diet. this is because before i would get in whole grains and healthy things, now i can't have those and i am less satisfied so i have sugar, because i can have lots of different gluten free chocolates and ice cream. so that is frustrating, i need to change it, i don't like it.
right now i am doing the gluten free and taking supplements to help the other things. i guess what stresses me out the most is the money, because i am seeing a chiropractor it isn't covered on insurance, and all of the supplements i buy {pretty much every week} aren't covered, and the blood test wasn't covered, and so on...also, if i had more money i don't think the gluten free things would be such a big deal either, i would roll on over to my local whole foods and buy up all the yummy and awesome gluten free products they have, but that just isn't an option. especially since i live in san diego, and especially since we are buying a house, which means the budget will be a bit tighter for a little while.
i am trying to have faith.
i am trying not to get down and add stress and other un-healthy things to my life.
i am trying not to cry as i type out all my feelings about this.
i mostly miss my mom.
this is what my counselor calls a 'secondary loss.' the first loss being my mom, but now something has happened that i really want to talk to her about and it brings all the pain back to the fore front. my mom would say the right thing, she would talk to all her friends, talk to dr. palmer, do research, she would find out all the options and help me. she would have answers and now i have to do that myself, which is hard and no fun and not easy.
i hate that she is gone.
i hate that i have to do this alone.{i know i have chris, and my family and his family, and friends....but it is not the same as a mother...no one fills her void.}
the timing of it all is just horrible, the house is hopefully closing this week, we are moving, we are doing a 'face lift' on the house, chris is taking his real estate test, he is remodeling his parents bathroom, i need to make house decisions, steph(chris's sis) is due with her baby in a week.....it is so much.
i am trying to have faith and carry on.
i am trying to do like my mom would want me to do.
i am struggling, but
i will keep trying.if you are still reading this, bravo! it is just a rant and ramble, probably doesn't make much sense. i do not mean to complain, i have much to be thankful for. thank you for your friendship, i appreciate it more then most of you know.
