goodbye momma

so i've been playing catch up and now i am here, to the end of october when i said good bye for now to my momma. i am not going to retell the whole story here for several reasons, some of them being that i just don't have the emotional strength to do it right now, and i plan on making a whole separate book for the funeral and i will tell the story there. i'm sorry if any one is offended by the first picture, it is important to me and i want it in my book so i am posting it. it is the day my mom left us, i had been with her for the night and wanted one last picture of her. i am so thankful that i was able to get a quick flight and go be with her for the last 24 hrs. i did not take paisley with me, it was the first time that we were apart, and i am so glad that i didn't have her so i could focus on my mom and family. it was a special time. i miss her terribly, grief is a hard thing, such a private battle. everyone thinks you are fine because you are going through the motions of life, but really i am not fine. i am working on it, i am trying. i will be ok, i just miss her and want to hug her and want to hear her laugh. the thing is, she wasn't just my mom, she was my best friend, we talked daily in college and several times a week once i was married.

this probably doesn't make sense, but it feels good just to type it out, so sorry for all the fragments of my mind.

mom died on wednesday and her funeral was on saturday. it is A LOT of work to do a funeral. my dad and i worked hard to get everything done, in the end everything was perfect and went smoothly. we had pictures, her paintings, her quilts, and other things on display as people entered the church. i thought they turned out perfect and loved having them to show off my mother's many talents.

my mom's dad, grandpa harward and his wife maxine.

my daddy and uncle phil-who gave the eulogy. one of my mom's best friends, diana who drove in from utah, i have always called her "my 2nd mom," i love her.

we had a wonderful turnout. so many family and friends came, it was great to see so many people. i only wish that i would have had more time to greet and mingle with people and thank them for coming. daddy and tristan.

my cute brother and his cute boys!

i am so blessed to have amazing in-laws that support me so well. both jan and robin flew out and were big, big helps watching paisley and jan took all of these pictures. they are wonderful! paisley loves her boppa.

it was a PERFECT october day in oregon, the sun was shinning, it was crisp and clear. my mom is buried at a cemetery just outside of salem, with beautiful views all around. it is lovely and i am so happy that we had perfect weather.

scotty and my cousin cory, who flew in from idaho with the kiddos.

paisley loving the freedom and grass on her toes.

my mom's casket was beautiful, my daddy picked it and i loved the pink undertones. it was perfect.

my grandpa harward has 6 girls, 6 girls! can you imagine?? i love my aunts, they are such a huge part of my growing up years, it was great to have them all together.

beautiful jill, and two awesome gals niki and megan.

my family. (minus tristan who was sleeping in the car)

paisley was fascinated by jan's necklace. robin and chris. did i mention how great my in-laws are?

just the three of us.

the flowers from scott and i. it was a great day, i was so exhausted by the end of it, but i would not change one thing. thanks to all who helped celebrate my mother's life.